February is tough in the teaching world. At least I am assuming it is tough for all teaching, not just Minnesota. We (Minnesotans) sometimes blame the difficulties on the cold and snow. Our students don't get to go outside very much and we all get crabby from being cooped up indoors and missing out on the benefits of sunlight. But January/February is a really busy time of year. Sports, activities, snow days, and more activities, all get packed into two months. Plus, it is the middle of the school year. We are knee-deep into our standards and are starting to worry about the testing coming up in the spring. I recently had a tough month. Tough in the sense that I had too much going on and not enough hours in the day. Reflecting back, there isn't anything I would have removed from my to-do list if I were to do it over again. Everything was important and worthwhile, and I loved every moment of it! But it is the part of teaching that many do not see or appreciate. And in a few frustrating moments, I have done a lot of thinking about some things I would like to say to administrators, parents, the public and fellow teachers and staff (including myself). Part One: When my children were really young, I would sit in the back of the church so that I could take my noisy child out easily. On one particular Sunday, there was another mother with a few young children sitting a couple pews in front of me. I noticed, with irritation and judgement, that she would get up during the service and leave her YOUNG children alone for spans of time and then return. I am not proud of this, but I judged her for doing this. When she did this, her children were not well behaved, and there was nobody there to keep order. I kept thinking to myself, "I would never do that. Whatever could be so important that she would keep leaving and not taking her children with her?" It went on for some time like this, but then I learned the biggest lesson I have ever learned during a church service. A beautiful-souled woman from the front of the church got up and went to the mother-less pew of children. She smiled at them, loved them, and kept them contained. I didn't hear the sermon from the pastor that day because I was too busy learning a different lesson: it isn't my place to judge someone's shortcomings, but to ask how I can help them succeed. The mother kept leaving because she was sick. For whatever reason, she felt it was important to come to church, even though she was sick. She was doing the best she could with her situation. She was putting much more effort into being there than I was, sacrificing the comfort of her bed/couch to bring her family to church. I didn't need to judge her choices, but to find a way to help her. Part Two: I keep seeing this meme come across my Facebook newsfeed and it strikes my heartstrings every time. I am beyond that motherhood stage, my kids are older and much easier to take care of, but it brings me back to those early years and how it felt to be raising young children. In the chaos and exhaustion of raising babies and toddlers, it is hard to see that you are doing a good job. Especially if you fail to do everything you had on your list. There are loads of laundry to fold sitting around the house, dirty dishes in the sink, and you didn't read to them tonight because you were just too tired. And don't get me started on trying to keep up with the Pinterest moms!
Then you are visiting with someone and they tell you that you look tired or question your parenting choice. In reality, you have already questioned yourself about it and now you think that everyone is judging you for it. But what you really need to hear, especially since the two-year-old that you spend most of your time with isn't capable of doing it, is "You are a great mom". And once isn't going to cut it, you need to hear it often, and loudly, and maybe with some chocolate. Final Part: So let me bring it back to teaching in January and February. With all the activities, events, supervisory roles, planning of special lessons, and anticipation of testing, teachers can feel like these moms. For example, I recently spent the last month: planning a family math night, creating/building all the games for the math night, planning 3 different one-hour presentations, reading two books about teaching math, researching for three different day-long workshops that I will be presenting, driving to and from a day-long board meeting (10 hours round trip), designing/planning/hosting a kindergarten math night, creating 200 adorable ceramic magnets, and running concessions for the day-long elementary basketball tournament. This is all on top of the normal teaching duties and mom duties, which I won't list but keep me busy without all the extra stuff. Although this may seem extreme, I look at other teachers and see people coaching/supervising one, two and sometimes three extra-curricular activities at a time. What is easy to do, from the outside, is to judge these people for forgetting to do something or for putting something off until the last minute. They know they should make copies the day before, or order supplies a week ago, or get the master key ahead of time. But, for whatever reason, they didn't. They are probably beating themselves up for it. And then we are lounging in the background and judging them for their shortcomings. But, do you know what else is easy? To offer to help them. To tell them they are doing a good job. To bring them some chocolate. To recognize the stress and find a way to take a little of the weight off their shoulders. I am so lucky to be surrounded by co-workers that supported me through the last month. They built me up, shared some of the workload, and brought me chocolate. Now that my life has "calmed-down" (does it every really though?), I am working to recognize the same moments in their lives and find a way to support them. To administrators, parents, community, and fellow teachers. When faced with a judgemental moment, stop and ask yourself if that person needs help and support instead of criticism. A school environment can be completely changed with the way we view and treat each other. Side note: the family math night was worth all the work!
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AuthorI teach mathematics for grades 7-12. Teaching mathematics is my passion. Archives
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